Show me your beads! Happy Fat Tuesday everybody, and since everyone knows I'm a sucker for celebrating, today's post is obviously dedicated to everything Mardi Gras (and of course Charlie, but more on him later). Interestingly, Fat Tuesday is otherwise known as Pancake Day- as beautifully demonstrated by Prince William and his lovely lady Kate, who spent the better half of today flipping their royal little hearts out. Don't quite get the pancake reference? Its in an effort to rid your pantry of sugar and eggs before the fasting begins for lent. And what better to make with these two ingredients than pancakes? Well, come to think of it, I could think of a few other things to do with these ingredients, but none of them are particularly good or even legal.
And of course we can't get through a day without some epic story about Charlie Sheen. To no ones surprise, Sheen has officially been fired from his gig with "Two And A Half Men" and is on to bigger and better. How does this affect us, the little people you ask? Because he's hiring! That's right. Charlie Sheen is seeking an intern, paid of course, to work for his for and 8 week internship this summer. Amazing, I know. If you are interested, as you should be if you read this blow and find it even remotely appealing, then see the internship requirements below and apply at your own risk.I have of course decided to apply for this coveted position, please see the below for my letter to Team Sheen.
Dear Charlie Sheen,
My name is Michelle Gross and I believe I am the best candidate for the available social media internship position. I would like to take a moment to explain a few reasons why.
First of all I am fucking amazing. I may not have tigers blood or the D.N.A of an Adonis, but I certainly know what it means to be kick ass party awesome. While you may render the blood of a tiger, I posses the magic of a unicorn and the wizardry of a Centaur. I believe our powers combined could lead to the ultimate demise of all the evil trolls in this world. We will prevail! We will not give up! Win!
I would also like to take a moment to discuss my qualifications with you. You see, upon my immediate conception into the mortal world I have believed in one ultimate truth. Winning. I learned the importance of this seemingly simple word at a young age when I was forced to co-exist amongst the yuppy private school beastlings that my parents forced upon me. I knew I could do better and have strived to set myself apart ever since. I believe in the power of magic and this is the very magic that has led me to you.
But what are my necessary skill-sets you ask? Aside from my obvious awesomeness and disarmingly good looks, I also have a yellow belt (including one stripe) in the art of Taekwondo, Jenga extraordinaire, ability to multitask and prioritize while under the influence, invisibility techniques, extreme bowling expert, dropping it like it's hot, and ninja like agility, amongst many, many more.
This is what I can offer you Charlie. This and so much more. Of course I will be more than willing to answer any questions you might have, and sincerely hope to hear from you soon. In the meantime I leave you with these two words..
Bring it.
Michelle
Apply Here:.http://cs.internships.com/charlie-sheen-internship/?adly_id=1373351728
Tuesday Headlines
Fat Tuesday 2011: Top Cities That Celebrate Mardi Gras
http://www.csmonitor.com/The-Culture/2011/0308/Fat-Tuesday-2011-Top-cities-that-celebrate-Mardi-Gras/New-Orleans
It's Mardi Gras! 10 Recipes To Let The Good Times Roll
Fat Tuesday Revelry From Around The World
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/picturethis/2014429557_pt_mardigras.html
King Cake: The History & Recipe For The Mardi Grad Tradition
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/08/king-cake-history-recipe-mardi-gras_n_832999.html
Kate Middleton & Prince William Flip Pancakes In Ireland
http://blog.zap2it.com/pop2it/2011/03/fat-tuesday-2011-prince-william-kate-middleton-flip-pancakes-in-ireland.html
About Mardi Gras Madness
http://mardigrasday.com/
Chuck Lorre: Rob Lowe's An Interesting Replacement
http://www.tmz.com/2011/03/08/rob-lowe-charlie-sheen-chuck-lorre-two-and-a-half-men-replacement-warner-bros-agent/
10 Potential Replacements For Charlie Sheen
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/charlie-sheen-replacements-10-potential-candidates-half-men/story?id=13085300
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20040614-10391704.html
International Women's Day: What It's All About
http://www.csmonitor.com/World/Global-Issues/2011/0308/International-Women-s-Day-What-s-it-all-about/What-are-its-origins
Movies: Past, Present, Future
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/movies/2011/03/graham-king-buys-up-tomb-raider-film-rights.html
Sheen's Goddess Gets 2 Day Trial In DUI Case
http://www.tmz.com/2011/03/08/bree-olson/
The Hobgoblin Of History
http://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2011/03/the-hobgoblin-of-history/72185/
Fast Track: The Charlie Sheen Circus Doesn't Stop
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-fast-track-mar8,0,1589339.story
Band To Watch: Pains Of Being Pure At Heart Show Off A Brand New Sound
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/band-to-watch-pains-of-being-pure-at-heart-show-off-a-bold-new-sound-20110308
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