I've been having an overwhelming sense of nostalgia these past couple of days. It didn't really phase me until this morning, when after being both accepted and (last night) rejected from the respective grad schools I've applied to, the reality set in that in just a few months I will be a full time student once again.It's a thought that is both exciting and daunting at the same time. Goodbye steady paycheck and 9-5 job, online shopping binges and last minute travel plans and hello homework, student loans and reporting 101. Like I said, exciting, but daunting. This afternoon I left my office where I've been holed up for the last two years and took a walk. I tried to clear my head of everything and just let myself take it all in, the good, the bad and everything in between. I couldn't help but overhear as a young girl was walking out at the same time, talking on her cell phone with the overzealous jubilation that only a teenager could possess. She had just met her idol and favorite rock musician Mark Hoppus, formerly of the band Blink182. As she blithely described every detail of their brief encounter, it reminded me of what I was like at that age; young and highly ambitious, passionate and wanting to go everywhere, explore everything and eventually conquer the world. Somewhere in there I think these ambitions started to go off course. While I have no regrets about the path that I've taken, I do wish I could go back knowing some of the things that I know now. It reminds me of my grand-maman's favorite song, 'Je ne regrette rien' by Edith Piaf, which loosely translates in English to 'No I don't feel sorry.' It is a beautiful song with a powerful message behind it; have no regrets. Being rejected from something you believed so passionately in will do that to you. It makes you second-guess all of the decisions you've made and the path that's led you there. It makes you question all of the why's and what if's. What could I have done to procure a different outcome? A better outcome. And why wasn't I good enough? It shakes you and breaks you down to your very core, and even though you tell yourself it wasn't meant to be, it's inevitable to think otherwise. Edith Piaf is regarded as a cultural icon, and France's most prominent musical figure. However her songs reflected her life, which was not always rosy. Filled with periods of affliction and poverty early on, Piaf's life was often marked by pain. So is life, and rejection is a natural part of that. I have no regrets about the life that I've led, a bruised ego is perhaps, but the hopeful feeling that finally, after a few years of soul-searching and working at mindless and un-fulfilling jobs, that I am finally once again on the right track. I'm ready to take the next step and get that old feeling back, you remember that feeling, like anything is possible. Happy Wednesday everyone, sometimes we all need a wake up to remind us that were only human.Here's whats happening in today's news..
Monday Headlines
Nate Dogg Dead At 41
http://www.thewrap.com/media/column-post/nate-dogg-dead-41-crooned-regulate-and-other-g-funk-classics-25542
Sheen's Intern Search: A Porn Star Gets Ahead
http://www.tmz.com/2011/03/14/charlie-sheen-intern-search-porn-star-isis-taylor-tiger-blood-round-two/
Multiple Choice: Should Glee Play More original Songs?
http://hollywoodcrush.mtv.com/2011/03/16/glee-original-music-poll/
Katie Couric Considering Multiple Network Offers
http://www.accesshollywood.com/news/katie-couric-considering-multiple-network-offers-no-decision-made_article_45325
The Lincoln Lawyer
http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20474062,00.html
St Patrick's Day Recalls Irish Immigrant Experience
http://www.voanews.com/english/news/usa/St-Patricks-Day-Recalls-Irish-Immigrant-Experience-118102674.html
Just What Wills & Kate Would Want For Their Wedding..
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1366941/Just-Wills-Kate-want-wedding--cake-modelled-image.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
Reese Witherspoon: A Wedding Planner?
http://celebrity-gossip.net/reese-witherspoon/reese-witherspoon-wedding-planner-487835
Strokes' New Album Angels Best Since Their Debut
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/david-fricke-calls-strokes-album-angles-their-best-since-2001-debut-20110316
Top Eight Bands In The Rolling Stone Cover Contest Announced
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/top-eight-bands-in-the-rolling-stone-cover-contest-announced-20110316
2 comments:
Heart wrenching... but you have a good grasp on what life is and... you are still hopeful in the future. That's important.
Being rejected by your dream school has thrown you into soul searching.That is all right.
But you know what, there is always a reason for things to happen.And the school that has accepted you saw great potential in your abilities. That in itself says a lot. You do have great potential and do not let anything stop you from achieving your goals.
Great people are the sum of their total experiences not necessarily and most of the time not the product of top schools. You make yourself. The school does not. Look at history.
Good Luck. I will continue to follow your blog and see what you make of yourself.
"When a door closes, a window opens", I've heard that a million times. The question remains, Why can't I go through the door? Why do I have to climb through the window? That's a question every successful person in the world has asked themselves at one time or another. The list is infinite, and everyone from BIll Gates to Brad Pitt, have had to go through the window. Just taking a look back at some of the people I admire most, and my personal experiences, I find that the experience is more rewarding after "going through the window". Also, in most cases, after the fact, the person realizes that they were focusing on the wrong "door". Enjoy the blog - please keep them coming. Also, would like more Bear pics, por favor!
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